At Odds?

Blog56:

How do you act when situations are at odds with your principle, plan of action, viewpoint?

It’s so easy to confront a person or persons embroiled in situations to which we’re at odds.  You’d think that confrontation is really the right action to take, but having the courage to be honest, firm and diplomatic about our position is another thing.  Personalities could clash, coolness could instantly fly, and words exchanged could get out of control and hurt feelings.  I was in this predicament earlier in the year.  A wrong piece of information was shared at a meeting of which I was a part, but no one had the guts to address it or the person who presented.  I was broiling within, but likewise took the easy way out of the contention by shutting up my mouth.  I needed to cool off my heavy head and heart for a few days, gather my wits, and then take steps to clarify my disagreement with the issue brought in the open.  I called the person involved, set up a meeting to chat and out I went with what I had to say.  The person sat across me, listened, and then shared her revised information.  I was surprised at how smoothly that conversation went along.  I was further taken aback that the person had actually gone over the wrong information and made a decision to clear out the matter at the next group’s gathering.  I thought back into it and told myself I was fortunate to get that ironed out without a hitch.  Getting thoughts collected, cooling off and accepting a mistake to make it right served well in that case.  I was contented with the process.

Living positively with what you can on an issue you do not readily accept, is another strategy that people take when at odds with it.  Sometimes, there aren’t simple responses, steps or decisions to quickly grab onto when a circumstance is at hand.  Decision by consensus allows participants to look at solutions at the table and gives choices as to what one is willing to accept and enact.   Recently, friends wanted me to see a film with them which I didn’t want to spend money or time.  My friends asked me to think about it and check out the book from which it was based, and then we’d get back together to discuss its pros and cons before a verdict: watch the film or don’t watch it at all.  I did just that.  I even sought the film’s reviews.  I was astounded by the depth of theme and purpose of the book made into film.  My friends were right in wanting me to see the movie with them.  Moreover, I was thankful that they encouraged me to learn more about it so I could make a better decision instead of adamantly saying, “I didn’t want to do so on grounds of the title it ran alone”  From that experience, I realized the value of consideration, discussion, consensus!

To stand up for a personal belief and/or what’s right is a moral obligation in my view.  We do something because we know it yields the most good, and it allows us to sleep peacefully at night knowing a good turn is rendered.  Our day-to-day decision-making should be marked in the end by a clear conscience that what is right is what’s acted upon.  Following or ignoring road rules for instance could test our morality.  There aren’t short cuts worth taking when accidents could be prevented by observing yield, stop, and no passing signs on roadways.  Returning what we borrow is good practice; it builds responsibility and good neighborliness.  Standing up alone or being resilient against pressures or temptations, lifts higher our courage and self-respect.  In an election, voting our conscience and considering people for leadership could decide progress instead of stagnation.  Stopping to pick up a turtle on the road and putting it away from harm’s way is a test of our diligence in protecting our earthly co-creatures.  Being of assistance to those around us, who otherwise could not help occasionally themselves, is not always about charity, but more so stands for our compassion.

When we’re able to offer an answer to a group conflict, it is a reflection of looking after everyone’s best interests.  When we further come together to put the best action plan and steps to solving divided sentiments faced by a group, it is insightful of consideration and inclusivity.  More heads thinking and processing to clear up a polarized opinion is better than no one focusing on a possible way out.  Take the situation of a family of six faced with hunger.  Would a parent with access to a loaf of bread hide it or equally divide it up so all six may eat?  Consider a conflict of viewpoints in a community where many cultures are represented and a program is planned to celebrate diversity.  Would the cultural group in the majority insist on showcasing itself with a month-long celebration instead of compromising with the rest of the group to have a month-long multicultural and diversity celebration? 

        Oftentimes there is no easy way in or out to something with which we’re at odds.  Putting our points of view, choices, action plans, solutions front and center, on the side or in the back burner to ride, overcome tests could cause us to give up our self-respect, demote our convictions, and delineate what’s personally important to us.  On the contrary, issues that require attention leading to conflict-resolution, peaceful negotiation or decision by consensus might be the path to take and still afford us to preserve our personal and moral stands.