Temper Tantrum

Blog13:

“Come out and see Daddy off to work, Dinky!” 

I call out. No usual movement under the bed this morning.  Dinky is in one of his laidback moods. Or he chooses to don a grumpy spirit.   May be a mixed bag of both is his chosen temper of the morning.  Like a child somewhat feeling unseated from his self-entitled throne of attention, he has withdrawn from proactive stunts and tongue-in-cheek groove.

Coming from middle child status, I can relate to Dink’s internal weather of late.  Cinn’s arrival had not created the excitement I had hoped he’d have.  He instead developed a shying away from most everything he loved doing day to day.  These last few weeks, he took less interest and enjoyment out of play.  There’s no tell-tale sign yet that he’d take a “happy brother life” and be gracious … grateful … that Mickey and I brought for him Cinn – vivacious, perky little creature ... perfect gift, so we thought!

“Do you want to play run-around the yard, brother Dink?” she invites upon every new and waking moment ... and every spur of the moment kick she feels.  Dinky first replies a firm, “Grrrrrr”.  He follows it with an annoyed bark as if to say, “Leave me be!  Vanish from my presence, you Ms. Perky, wonderful Missy!”

In Cinn and Dinky’s environment, there are no threats.  There is no warrant for  for a survival of the fittest stance.  Both boy and girl are cared for equally, given attention fairly … cuddled, and played with, loved.  What are Mickey and I missing? 

I begin wondering what makes creatures … humans and beasts alike, ring in varying temperaments in their very being.  From where do they spring?  What kindles and ignites them to retreat or blow forcible claw?

The issue drives me to search.  I pull David Myers’ Psychology text from a bookshelf.  In it, he might talk about humans per se, but what he offers might give me ease, at least today … now!  Here goes:  Myers declares, “Heredity seems to predispose temperament differences.  “Physiological tests,” he further says, “reveal that anxious, high strung creatures have high and variable heart rates and reactive nervous systems that become reactive when facing new or strange situations.” 

Huh – I failed to count that genetic makeup … DNA … factors into temperament. I feel better already.  With that checked, along with patience and continuing dose of a nurturing environment, Dinky will come to a full circle: first, a shock, withdrawal;  next, an unleashing of adaptive capacity. 

“Mama and Daddy always love you, Dink! Come out and say bye to Daddy!”

I prod and call again in a much sweeter tone.  Soon, I hear a calm bark.  I note a tail wag.  Slowly, he comes out of hiding and licks my face all over.  I throw his favorite ball.  He runs away and seeks it. 

“Found it, Mama!  He notices Mickey. "Daddy, will you throw it once, and watch me fetch it before you go?” 

Temper tantrum arrested!