Bystander

Blog16:

In a social visit today with friends, I noticed a man of yet good physique though he was advanced in physical years.  He was casually, appropriately dressed, and groomed.  He sat in the circle where small and substantial talk was already in progress, but he did not contribute to any of the lively chatter.  He didn’t show much expression, but he maintained an even and calm, facial presence. He sat quietly, and sheepishly grunted from time to time an agreeable, “Yeaah” or a disagreeable, “Huh?”

I couldn’t tell if the man who swallowed my attention understood the points of conversation lively shared in that very moment by the group.  I could tell though that he was intently listening and people within the circle were aware of his presence.  Strangely, no one asked for his opinion on something.  He likewise did not add anything to the exchanges. It seemed casual enough a gathering, but something was amiss.  He was not, by any chance, any of those typical thinking, reacting, and processing characters engrossed with one another’s presence.  He was different of sort. 

In between responses to questions asked of me, and comments I made on issues that were of interest to me, my mind slipped away. It sized up the participants.  It weighed the situation and the circumstances of those gathered in the room. 

I inwardly formed opinions and began thinking about the lots of folks absent, around or within the circle.  I surmised that circumstances of people in and out of our lives are in constant living and dying.  A testament to this observation is that quiet, unassuming, aged man in the circle; he was physically alive, yet mentally and emotionally, he was somewhat dead – quite like a bystander … uninvolved though present.  Real or not, there’s truth in it. 

It holds water that there are people in our lives who are either vibrantly pursuing something significant side by side those that are aimlessly or helplessly hanging around.  They are the hapless ones shortchanged at birth by a physical disability: the lame, the blind, the mute and deaf, the deformed, the underdeveloped, the depraved, and most unfortunate, the unwanted.  There are also those who have aged in years and no longer could ambulate themselves, personally care for themselves or defend themselves from all form of disrespect, humiliation, isolation.  Moreover there are those who have lost material support and income for themselves because of austerity measures imposed upon by workplace economics or like reasons. 

Undoubtedly, all three groups live (or exist?) at the fringes of society.  I wouldn’t know for sure how to stand in any of those circumstances.  What I do know is that it would not hurt as much being in either of the first two groups.  Nothing much could be done about them, except to accept their limitations and intentionally help them access accommodations.  To fall in the economically marginalized group, however, would be most devastating.  That I think brings about horrific losses of day-to-day purpose, personal confidence, dignity.  Even more fatal is non-exit from isolation.  With loss of productivity validation, people second guess their leveraging position.  It’s quite like losing one’s voice for the much needed human interaction and contribution.

“What do you think we should do about ___?” loudly interrupted someone.  The question popped brought me back to the circle.  I quit musing at the grim effects of depraved lives.  I silently thanked my Maker first for allowing me to exist, die, and live over and again in circle.  I thank next the tribulations into which I bumped head-to-head with, but afforded me resilience to somehow climb out.  I thank last the unabashed simplicity of the man whose presence invited me to commune with dying and living, with entering and exiting experiences which give gifts that keep on giving.