Spoken Words

Blog31:

        Let’s pay close attention for a moment to interaction that uses words in our midst.  Let’s really listen to words.  From spoken words, we either note courtesy, calmness or an irritation, a disgust.   

        On any given working day, we take action on issues we deem really important hoping that we get a reaction … a response … that takes care of them.  I did just that recently.  I needed to clarify information that came to my desk so I emailed the two persons charged with the process.  I offered facts and asked questions.  It didn’t take long to get an answer of sort from person A: “Systems in place created the information you have.  It has nothing to do with what I did or didn’t do to them.  Don’t blame me … blah … blah and more blah.” I was baffled and annoyed at the same time by the manner and content of that reply characteristic of arrogance, uninformative ‘gobbledygook’.  It was totally meaningless.  The person on the other end might as well not have sent anything.  Person B responds:  “I don’t have answers to your query right now, but let me dig up further, and get back with you.” That was a matter of fact reply; it was nothing fancy, but I could sense from it a thoughtful, respectful consideration of a communication piece sent.  

I don’t doubt that you have had some situation of kind happen to you where instead of a meaningful exchange, you are given thoughtless answers.  You end up researching further so that you eventually get to the bottom of it and obtain the necessary assistance you thought and hoped you might get in one step.   

At one of so called ‘professional meeting-gatherings’ I unfortunately had to sit today, I heard one colleague comment about another’s manner of speech; the person spoken of comes from a culturally different region and had a very strong linguistic accent.  Instead of listening intently to the content of the man's speech, this bold, rude person in my circle stopped the speaker’s information-sharing, and asked, “From which region of the country do you come?  I don’t understand what you’re saying!”   I almost collapsed in embarrassment for the addressed visiting lecturer.  It was a blatant attack on his speech. 

What do you do in a situation like that?  How might you feel?  The incident was a definite put down.  It was an attack on one’s personhood, an underestimation, an unkind, tactless, cold perception, a wrongful character or ability judgment by one for another … just because one’s speech appeared as not fitting the ‘accepted norm’ if there’s one such measure.

Judgments loosely imposed on others are merciless, I think, but many people act on them day in and day out without much thought.  Judgments about who we are and what about or for what we stand are often passed on based on almost anything – appearance or delivery of our thoughts for example.  We pass judgments that people are either smart or un-smart based on their speaking voice, accent, use of words; we dislike or discount people for styles of their hair, color of their skin or eyes, etc.  

It does not take much to hurt feelings with false claims or perceptions using words and gestures.  What hurts the most though is the sad reality that judgments heavily come from arrogance and ignorance.   Far worse is when the judging character does not even know that he or she is acting on it.

What could we glean from these, you ask? What do our words say about our internal climate, viewpoint, and perception?  How do what we think or say transfer to someone else?  Simply for us all to pay attention to words we choose and manner of using those words!