Connect & Participate

Blog155:

          Unless the crowd is totally estranged from one another, a conversation is usually a path to goodwill exchange.  Within a circle of folks gathered, a conversation usually begins because it is what civil people do.  Just what happens when a conversation focus is exhausted?  Of course, there is a lull … a let-up … that creeps in, especially if those present in the crowd aren’t quick to build on conversation cues.

          Whenever I’m in a circle requiring response to what’s spoken, I listen in on what’s said, then I try to connect with it an experience I’ve had in the recent or distant past, a related thought I know adding to what’s said, a question I have … so to understand  and/or clarify a point.  I don’t know what happens in someone else’s mind.  I simply engage in what I know so I don’t get left out.  Not doing anything may project dullness, social ineptness of which I do not want to be associated.  Call it a lack of confidence if you wish.  I really don’t care or do I?  And why is someone’s perception of importance?

          Participation in a conversation is a simple expectation in a circle.  While it can be avoided, it is best not to.  Participation is an act of good-will sharing in a crowd, even with strangers.  Face-to-face encounter is an invitation to become a part of, and it almost forces you to fit into a place … that which is something you can get comfortable, take on, and connect.  Even when the conversation is focused on something which you uphold is private, there is always something you could share without compromising that which you hold private.  For instance, in a gathering of women speaking on the subject of rearing children, a single lady who has not yet experienced caring for children could always talk about her sibling’s upbringing around the home, or her own parents’ experiences with child care.  She doesn’t have to be left out.  She doesn’t have to be uncomfortable.

          Getting engaged in a conversation is a brain challenge of kind.  What you do know about what’s being spoken about is often a quick-adrenalin run that forces you to search your mind quickly of that one related event, one related experience- personal or vicarious, which could add or enrich the conversation.  You could surprise those in the circle who may know or not know you very well that you have something pertinent and relevant to share.  I’m not a cook or chef, and I know very little about food prep.  When a conversation about food comes around once in a while,   I search for what’ I’ve recently read from a magazine or what I’ve viewed from a TV cooking prep channel.    I also recall my favorite tastes and observations about food prep and what makes a recipe palatable.  I don’t have to be a wiz.  I don’t have to be a practicing food tech person.  I have to only be willing to share what I know at the right time about food.  That way, I don’t feel left out, thought about as disinterested or dull!

          Visiting within family circles and friendships or acquaintances have force me recently to be in the receiving or giving end, conversation-wise.  It gives me comfort that sharing what I know or what I could add to the topics on hand at the right time could also comfort those around me who are simply themselves making familiar, friendly connections!