Children of Light

Blog 190:
Uprooted from makeshift homes
They plant new seeds away from bustling Phnom Penh
Pruning their folk dancing skills
While living side by side, day-by-day
With new and old faces
Children of Light - they themselves name

Children of tears and pain
Children of fathers and mothers long dead
Children of parents who abandoned them
Children of ill-taken, shunned, poor
Children of challenged minds and hearts
Children of resilience, tenacity, courage

They nurse one another's hurts
Through play and giggles
Through shared bowls of rice
Through hearts of compassion
Until they somehow forget even for short periods
That they once were unrecognized, unloved by one or all

3 Peeks in Phnom Penh

Blog 189:

Khmer Children 1
rush in, play
innocent, curious, excited
They come in all sizes and ages
Learning Lab, Phnom Penh

Khmer Children 2
walk kilometers, learn
rugged, disheveled, marginalized
They come in all shapes and situations
Youth Hub, Phnom Penh

International Volunteers
come and go, work and learn
tall, short, diverse origins
They search for God's presence in people
Non-Govermental Organization personnel

Stream of Consciousness 13

Blog 188:

7:40- Family conversation over expenses,for whatever purposes, always gets contentious.  Mix up differences of opinions, and you have clashes of minds and emotions!  One child wishes to shift course major, another wants to drop-out of school.  Still, another one wants to marry at the young age of 23! "Khnom, shmok-shmain!" ... I'm disappointed and angry, and all other relevant mix of emotions!  Does this happen to any one all in onetime?
 
9:45- A worship of celebration ... what could be greater than that?  Songs of praises, of humility, of recognition, of passionate love for Christ wandered around and bounced back and forth.  Friends and family of mission workers in Phnom Penh at Hope International School Fellowship Hall filled the room with smiles and empty vessels; all were ready to be filled.   A full hour and a half of sharing love that binds, love that gives and multiplies, love through grace and mercy.  That worship experience was simply reviving!

12:30 Crunchy, deep-fried fish and papaya salad ... what could be more exciting to the palate?  'Tom-yum soup', that is, from the Khmer and Thai
chefs.  Add a variety of vegetables and fruits on the table and feasting could begin quickly for the famished.  Garnish with a bunch of friends engaged in refreshing conversations and laughter, you get a perfect unwinding late mid-day.

3:45 Sorting work project and process, when not everyone is on the same page, could bring tension with a capital "T", in addition to lots of frustration.  That was how it felt during the first sit-down meeting among and between a dozen team members ... if we could call it that!  I realized how unforgiving I was of peers who couldn't pick up, or clearly present what's going on in a discussion.  Perhaps, like what I was internally doing, folks simply don't want to take what's on the cards or that they just don't give a hoot about ideas on the table.  What's sad though, is the truth:  people do not readily speak up what's on their minds, then they huff and puff over the matter with  someone else, often in an unkind manner.  Sigh ...

4:52 Visited shortly with acquaintances at Khmer Surin Restaurant right after a healthy Vego veggie dinner with colleagues.  Wild sensations ... scrumptious tastes!  Food ... great food prepared just right to the flavor desired and dreamed about, always brings people together into very good moods!

Seeing ... Waiting ...

Blog 187:

Two-prong expectations today: sharing/working with TLL Staff on embarking
into its program of building a community of readers.   I found some exciting handles to share and felt confident they'd fly!   As always, it's  a "wait and see".

"Waiting and seeing" ... we seem to do a lot of that.  We wait and see if what's baking in the oven or what's cooking on the stove will please the palate.  We wait and see if a doctor's prescription would arrest a nagging, annoying health issue.  Upon having made a decision, we wait and see for results.  We get the jitters as we wait and see ... after taking exams or coming out of a job interview.  We wait and see if our departure or arrival flights get us on time to and from destinations.  Parents wait and see how their rearing of children bring positive influences.  Banks' lending monies to clients wait and see if recipients pay back what they borrow.

We are indeed a breed of wait and see people.  Sometimes we patiently enter into this bind.  Other times, we fret or huff and puff in the process.  Still, we are dependent on time and situation as they come and go.  Waiting and seeing ... is a test of our patience ...a fruit of the spirit we all must acquire and practice!

Stream of Consciousness 12

Blog 186:

6:38- Woke up at 5ish this AM and couldn't get back to sleep, so here I am.  Phnom Penh's Road 271 is alive with car engines and horns,  and from the sounds of it, many more folks like me have begun their day.  What is this day going to bring?

9:13- Must refresh on concepts to share with TLL on building a climate of reading. A climate of reading entails motivation and discipline.  For instance, you must make efforts to build time, structured or not, into your daily existence. From waking time to turning in for the night, you could reflect on various forms of reading you do and for what purposes: leisure, information access, reflection-editing, skimming/scanning to get a view of the text or merely spotting for a particular piece of info.  What next? ... How do participants share their reading discoveries, or is that even necessary? For the fun of it, shared reading could further encourage everyone to pick up new and different book/passage titles from one's favorite genre.  Shared reading likewise serves as forum for advertizing a variety of articles, stories and other passages.  Results could be the start of lifelong reading habits, excitement and text-driven enthusiasts!

3:40- Noticed the new issues of BHG and Southern Living.  Am wondering what's inside of the two mags, but must not get into its pages just yet.  It would be a special treat to wait til later, when day's demands come to end, and opening the fresh-smelling magazine pages unfold new ideas to browse or adopt, project-wise!

5:25- Off to unwind at Raffles ... Singapore's elite, colonial  hotel in the midst of all modern booming establishments in the city of Phnum Penh!

Somebody

Blog 185:

I am somebody.
How about you?
Are you a somebody too?
I would not shy away from challenges
That drag me a-ground
I would not give up my stand
When I know it is right and justified
I will speak up my mind
If I know it would make a difference
I would use my power and influence
When noble causes demand I must
I am somebody.
How about you?
Are you a somebody too?

Lost (?!?)

Blog 184:

Go down nineteen steps
Make a quick left stride
Stop at the corner of Rd. 183
Note the corner coffee shop
Then make another left turn
Walk all the way to the main road ...
"Where's the building I'm supposed to go into?
No way ... I'm lost as can be
Downtown Phnom Penh !"
Should I get lost some more
Or brave calling my host
To pick me up
And save my day?
Decision time ...
Call and swallow pride ...
Admit I took the wrong turn
Somewhere ... somehow ...
Getting started straight once again
Will move me forward
And send me where I need to be!

In Khmer PP City

Blog 183:

Learners ...
Enthusiastic, diligent, motivated
They take any form of transport
And rush to classes when school gates open
Khmer Students

Transport ...
Versatile, creative, resilient
Like ant, it moves with ease on bumpy or smooth roads
With gentle, rough, offensive stance
Thai/Khmer tuk-tuk

Convenient Inconvenience

Blog 182:
First day and night in a new location always  requires adjustments, but I can't seem to plant it in mind.  I should have known by now that staying at a friend's house would not do me the best favors, but there I went again!  I forgot ... totally went mind blank that there's something about familiarity with friends that breaches total comfort.  That was the case soon after I got myself at my friend's personal space.  Hopefully, this is the last one (!?)

It never ceases to happen that fears and confidences clash.  Take provisions, for instance.  There's no telling whether someone else's bathroom would be fully functional or not.  I went in one unprepared --- AGAIN.  There was no tp, no toiletries, and again, no towels!  To make matters worse, the room I was led to bed for the night was the very one closest to the road and my friend's neighbor's  house;  it was impossible to  even invoke privacy, so I did not,  Instead, I closed my eyes and took all in - exposure, noise, lack of basic provisions, privacy.

Something inwardly natural happens right away when situated in predicaments.  The brain quickly searches for survival and adaptation.  In a khromar, a Khmer versatile wrap/shawl, I found a body robe, a towel to use for bathing, and makeshift privacy.  The door to a cabinet in the room I occupied became a shield from secretive watch, if any, of neighbors while I dressed.  In the bathroom where there was only a knee-high spigot to use for bathing or teeth brushing, I washed and cleaned up while in ground sitting position.  I used the I-pad's glass top as my mirror to decently put together my hair in place.  That wasn't so bad after all ... just inconvenient!

Lesson learned? Next time, politely ask what accommodations might I expect from a temporary stay or find a cheap, but safe inn to bed!

Wake and Smile

Blog 181:

Early dawn she wakes
At first,  reluctant or perhaps shy
She barely warms up
Then she opens her eyes
Mid-day and dons
Her graceful, warmest smiles

Her infectious yellow and orange hues
Start spreading light at the horizon
Soon ... her light parts the trees
And peeks through them
Until all her brightest of smiles
Spread throughout the entire land

She begins her play
She dances and prances
She touches all in her way
And evokes her merry greeting
Saying, "Time to get up ...
And claim the gifts of this new day!"

Reconstruction

Blog 180:
From years of blood, sweat and tears ...
From despair and destruction ...
Phnom Penh rises and stands tall
"Away with tears," she states with conviction.
She vows, "Reconstruction ... rebuilding ...
From the ground up shall be our cause!"

Slowly, but surely ...
From dawn to dusk
Like marching infantrymen
They march and sing,
"We won't be trampled anymore!"
Shoulder to shoulder they stride
Architects and engineers lay out plans
Construction workers hammer and mix cement
Carpenters and electricians work hand in hand
Masons and inspectors lend their expertise
'Til one day, and days after each one
Offices and commercial structures
Residences, cultural and governance centers
Rise high one by one
Until the city returns to its grandeur
Better than it began years past.

From years of blood, sweat and tears ...
From despair and destruction ...
Phnom Penh rises and stands tall
"Away with tears," she states with conviction.
She vows, "Reconstruction ... rebuilding ...
From the ground up shall be our cause!"

Hospitality

Blog 179:
Hospitality at best or worst is all good.  I have come to appreciate that when people open up their homes to house me for a couple of nights or so, they are providing to, and for me, their humblest or grandest  pleasing ways.

Along my journey visiting and networking recently, I stumbled on a need to stay the night over at a friend's family home in the countryside.  It is a middle class home of modest furnishings and resources.  I was a bit nervous about not having been taken around for a customary home tour that usually ends at the door step of a room a guest would use.  When it was time to bed, I was made to choose in which spot to rest: the TV/guestroom equipped with two lounge sofas or a family member's personal room.  I groped for the right answer as quickly as I could.  My acquaintance/friend was pleased, I think, that I chose the former.  I was still in lingering trepidation because I didn't know for sure whether there would be a blanket to give me extra privacy.  I decided to "wait and see".   Waiting did pay off.  While I groomed and prepped for the night's rest,  my host went to work on my makeshift bed.  She dressed the sofa with a comforter/blanket - a family acquired souvenir from a trip to India years back.  I was relieved and pleased .  I was extra thankful for two regular pillows to use in addition to the cushions that came with the well-used lounge sofas.  The guest room was complemented with a reading lamp, a cup of hot tea, and a glass of water.

My overnight stay would have been much more perfect if I were offered a bath towel.  I was not!  Fortunately,  I brought a wash cloth and basic toiletries to use in an emergency!  I really should not have assumed that I would be provided all I needed.  I doubly should never have assumed that my personal practices for hosting someone the night over in my own home would be the same for everyone, everywhere which would include complete basic toiletries, towels, night robe, and bedding.  All in all, the bed itself, even though it was a makeshift one, served me well.

My host was perfect in her very own ways.  She and her family gave me their very best hospitality for which I ought to be most grateful.  Hospitality at best or worst is indeed all good!

A Look Behind

Blog: 178

She sits and recalls

Glimpses of childhood

With sisters and brothers

Now long gone from life

But whose memories of innocence

Or naught come back alive

With fond flashbacks

Of running barefooted for the first time

Of chewing, tasting forbidden foods

Of punishment and discipline

Of pain, joys and sorrows rolled in one

Of pretending one is foolishly in-charge

Of experimentation and teasing

Of engaged minds in discoveries

Of calling to mind vignettes of yesteryear

Of impressionable circumstances

Of familiar and unfamiliar faces and voices

She sits and rambles

From one incident to the next

Until her eyes well up in tears

For gifts of joyful recollection!

Hello ... Goodbye!

Blog: 177

In forty eight hours

I leave behind what I thought

I was just beginning to reprint in mind again

After years of absence

From what once was a familiar life -

Of ups and downs

Of toils and tough grind

Of challenges and survival

Of fears and confidences

Of knowns and unknowns

Wondering whether or not

Tomorrow …

I’d wake up alive or dead

Wondering whether or not

Tomorrow …

Would there be hunger or filled stomach

At the end of each waking day!

My not so brief visit back to Manila

Is right this minute consumed with nostalgia.

In forty eight hours … I again leave behind

All I’ve known and all I’ve wished to just bury

Deep or much deeper still …

In the dark recesses of my mind!

Apiad Hilltop

Blog: 176

Drive a winding road uphill

Be awed by rich resources of the land

Straight at the tip of the highest hill

Behold rows and rows of pineapple plots

Against a backdrop of papaya and tamarind trees

Down the slope, note the squash vines, and okra bushes

Spot all over a variety of vegetable greens

And get lost in mango groves left or right of the land

Apiad Hilltop is haven for lush green vegetation

Nestled in not so distant Silang, Cavite!

From the main road, I could only wonder

Life in agri land could be so hidden from the naked eye

But by chance, up close, you feast on the land’s beauty

Unfolded right in front of your eyes!

WOW!

Lush Green Lands

Blog 175:

Leave at daybreak ...
Beat rush hour traffic
And take a long drive on South Superhighway
Soon ... climate tells you you're there
In cool Tagaytay landscape
Winding roads at first
But soon, clear skies and the horizon meet
Unfolding Tagaytay Ridge!

Enter a subdivision developing area
Be amazed ... be awed ...
Cool breeze greet
And wrap your entire being
As you view hilly sides next to Taal Lake
Turn around and you get more mesmerized  ...
Verdant green flat lands and scaled other lands
Compete in beauty and grandeur.

"I'd like to live here," I tell myself.
I soak the light breezes once more
And imprint in my mind
The wonder of natural landscape
I could possibly call ... HOME
In not so distant future!

Business Alley

Blog 174:

“Taho!”

 “Pan de sal!

“Gulay po … sariwa!”

Up and down the streets of Las Pinas

Street vendors on foot musically call out their brand

In hopes of getting mothers, grandmothers

And housekeepers to come out

And open business sales of the day

Day in and out they come alone

Or in pairs, at other times in groups

Retailing fresh foods, snacks and housekeeping items

To those who are homebound

And simply do not have a way

To shop in the busy marketplaces

Kilometers away from their homes

Street vendors make it their mission

To serve and be served

To give and receive

To provide for and be provided

Through small, meaningful work

On foot like soldiers marching to

War in sometimes unknown, unfriendly

Neighborhood barangay streets

Of Las Pinas suburbia  

Or in one other jungle cities of Metro Manila!

Storm Interlude

Blog 173:

Winds blow an abnormal strength

Auntie Nena runs to the backyard

And collects drying clothes on the line

Grandpa’s overalls give in to the lift

Sisters and brothers’ shorts and shirts sway to and fro

Mother’s long skirts hold strong and steady

But all must get off the line

As tropical storms loom in the horizon!

Toil and Rest

Blog 172:

Evening tide invites rest

After a day-long toil

He who left at early dawn

Returns home once more

To commonplace, yet familiar surroundings

As soon as the gate and door open to home

He is greeted first by his caring mother

And embraced next by his loving son

The gestures comfort an exhausted body

And all is fine … 

Even the back pains and aching shoulders

Seem to loosen and relax

As reunion takes place

And secure, safe surroundings

Find him …

Comforted

Loved

Appreciated

Beware ...

Blog 171:

Food - want it, don’t want it …

Our stomachs … our bodies desire it

Especially when we are starved, hungry

Mind you, though …

Food could churn upside down your stomach and mine

Until we are wrenched, twisted, tugged or jerked

By one fatal, foreign element lurking

Either in contaminated food and water …

Or soaked - in gas fumes from exhaust … garbage …

Strewn out in the streets

By undisciplined population and careless street vendors -

Anything … everything that goes in the mouth is suspect!

Once bacterium and germ attack the digestive linings or system

Wild tossing, agitating, stirring begins

Until heaving and gagging throw up all ingested victuals

Like an angry volcano spewing lava and molting rock.

Nothing could prepare us from a terrible feeling

Of a stomach turned upside down

We beg for mercy that all unwanted elements

Get out of our system and for it to self-cleanse

Until we feel better once again!

Food – want it, don’t want it …

Our stomachs … our bodies desire it

Especially when we are starved, hungry

Mind you though …

Beware of prowling contagion

That could sicken or slaughter!

Why a Parade?

Blog 170:

Feast Day!

For Filipino Catholics

It is a day to gather in Quiapo, Manila

Home of the Black Nazarene Church

Thousands of devotees from far and near

Flock to pay homage to him -

They start early dawn to find their way

Closest to the Church … closest to the saint’s replica

Pushing … praying … hoping … to get a glimpse … a sight

So one could touch his feet or kiss his cheeks-eyes-lips

Others settle on wiping the graven image’s face

With a white handkerchief or towel

In belief that so doing … a blessing would be handed

Perhaps received … in innocent faith?

All who succeed would keep the cloth

Deep in one’s chest pocket

Or home closet … whichever is dedicated

To its worship place … holiest of personal places

Year in and out …

The Black Nazarene gets paraded in the village

Behind it, followers and celebrants squeeze

Until some of them faint … get stepped on …

Fanatics’ lives are accidentally sacrificed

Over a wooden likeness of one long dead soul

I wonder why that is just so …

'Turtlish Wait"

Blog 169:

Get set, GO!

Flag a tricycle

Ride out to the main road

Pay the Php7.00 fare

Take a bus or a jeepney

Pay another Php12.00 fare

Head to the SSS Office

Queue at the makeshift ‘Forms Assistance Desk’

Sign up for the specific form

Head to the ‘Service Waiting Room’

After picking up yet a queuing number …

Get yet another of culture shock!

What?  I’m number 312?

Do I stay, or try again tomorrow, only earlier?

It’s only 1:20 PM; I should stick it out

It is a test of real-to-goodness patience, I tell myself.

I fidget … I look in my Messenger style bag …

What do you know; lucky me! 

I have stashed in my bulky bag a magazine to read.

For now … I’m A-OK; no privileges here (I remind me!)

Three hundred eleven people are before me

Who am I to complain?

I muse at thoughts between printed words …

“I might not make it back into this culture

If I decide to really come home … for good!

After many experiences of quick or self-service …

After many years of instant gratification and ‘no-waiting’ …

After many years of ‘I need this, so serve me now!”

In far North Carolina …

I just am not sure …

I don’t really think that I could make it …

Singing, breathing, living

In the midst of bureaucracy

In the unending red tape

In the ways of goings and comings

Here and there –

Wrapped in Manila’s lifestyle!

Bunk-bed ?

Blog 168:

There are not many things and situations in daily life about which I could or should complain.  With the confines of my 5 x 2.5 feet bunk bed in Manila's Lotus Street residence however, that's another issue with which to contend! 

The 2-inch thick foam mattress of the top bunk serves enough comfort when I'm seated on it for a short while, but staying still for an hour on it gives me the feeling of concrete or metal!  Sitting long on it is not good!  To ward off the discomfort, I move my bottom every now and then, and every which way I possibly could.  Nothing much happens!  It simply tells me that a change is needed if I wanted comfort.  For now, it's an economics' question, so ... brood and whine as much as I make, not a thing could, would or should  change.  What's the consolation, you ask?  A few purposes that it serves, beginning with utility!

The top of the bed is where I rest and bed for whenever I need a spot on which to straighten my body or assume fetal position for extra comfort.  I could get extra comfortable with a number of pillows for 'company', but at least two does the magic for me.   I also use the top bunk to get away from the cares of the day.  Up there, when I've had enough of meaningful or mindless chatting downstairs with visitors and family,  I find myself able to really get away as if I've physically taken  leave of the place or the entire house!  I also have a different perspective when I am atop.  I actually could commune with the ceiling and the top compartment of the built-in cabinet which usually get unnoticed standing in the room.  I just mused recently on the intricacy of the ceiling molding, and the handwork that went into its carpentry.   When I need to seriously think, read or compose important and unimportant thoughts, the top bunk is where I want to be and to do all!

The bed below serves as a holding place.  It's quite like a storage,except it is open.  I use it  for "standing, progressing projects" that I hope to complete while temporarily based in this location.  The space began as a sorting ground for a hodgepodge of holiday presents and giveaways to whomever fits an item be it a family member, an acquaintance or a friend.  Last weekend, I finally got the area organized to give me senses of direction on what to do with the bags and bunches of things from overseas parcels that arrived.  This past week, I used part of the space as my makeshift den from where I watched TV on eye-level.  So far, so good ... 'kinda' cozy,really!

The small and narrow bedroom I occupy would not have served me well without the odd, and old-military-type bunk-bed loaned (or given away to me?) by 'J&'J couple.  I have them to thank for the privacy and utility it affords me temporarily.  Suggestions have recently been made by other Lotus residents to rid of it, but for the greater good it provides, I would not part of or from it ... for a great while! 

A Stealthy Visitor

Blog 167:

A swallow alights and stands still at the concrete fence

Outside my window of screen and metal bars' frame

It busies itself ... looking ... seemingly seeking

For what, I am yet unaware

I quietly watch in awe at its tiny, exquisite feathers of mixed browns

And its little webbed feet that firmly balances its rounded body

I note it's brown eyes twinkling like the evening stars

As I keep imagining of its business for the moment

Soon after, it abandons the concrete fence on which it rests

It flies ... speeds ...  soars in flight and leaves my watchful eye

From behind the window of screen and metal bars' frame

For what did it amuse, tease and capture my presence?

In Waiting ...

Blog 166:

At break of dawn ...

She slowly, but determinedly rises ... 

Next ... she runs through her daily rituals

Of cleansing, reflecting, planning ...

She searches in the food box, finally

For items that would match

Her desired old-time classic recipes

Or her personally put-together ones ...

She mills around the stove fire

And begins once more her tasks

Of whisking the day's meals

While she simultaneously ponders on life ...

At the very least of expectations, today she woke up

To see and breathe yet a new day of grace

Today, she again seizes life's gifts

While patiently and gracefully waiting ... for God!

Php 10, 000.

Blog 165:

Monthly PHP 10, 000. stipend!

Two mouths to daily provide for and fill ...

Transport to and from places

Without which, no one could really get around!

Cable, drinking water, telephone and internet services -

Bills to pay and to take care of

For without them, one's life is a total bore, of all boredom combined!

Laundry services, incidentals, emergencies (?) ...

From which do such expenses get provisions?

Monthly PHP 10, 000. stipend!

Daily at the table, there is bread or rice, and viand for breakfast

For lunch and dinner, modest recipes emerge from the kitchen

And make their way again to the table!

Two mouths and stomachs partake ...

Two souls whine or outrightly verbal-fight ...

Two aging bodies dance to the rhythmns of daily grind

Day in and day out ...

Monthly PHP 10, 000. stipend!

How does one live with meager resources?

How does one survive in this economically-challenged world?

How could one mix and match resources?

How do minds and body figure living ... or dying?

Monthly PHP 10, 000. stipend!

You best be a math wiz ...

You best be a fighter ...

You best be life smart ...

You best not get sick ...

You best know how to snake in and out of critical situations ...

You best know about life and its complicated nature ...

You best know how to bend with the wind and the storms

Into which life takes you!

Never an Island!

Blog 164:  

          Waking up feeling unwell is the pits.   Your body's malaise drags your mind to incapability.  You couldn't easily decide whether to get up or linger a bit in bed hoping that a small, quick stretching of arms and legs, a prayer, a ritualistic body movement of sort, could improve what sluggishness you first encounter.

What do you do?  Either you rely on time-tested remedies from Aunt Sally or Grandma Atang to ward off the ill-feeling or decide to get quick professional medical help.  Fortunately, it is a business day week; both public and private centers for health are open.  Just your lucky day!  With spare, accessible funds to draw from and use, relief could be right around the corner.  For those less fortunate, waiting on a miracle and charitable assistance, aggravate just that ... un-wellness.

You decide to use your personally stashed resources for rainy days such as today's day. You seek assistance from your local network of family and acquaintances, a tricycle driver, your aunt or cousin, maybe a member of your nuclear family, for example, who could take you to the public med center (the trip to the private practice last week cost you an arm and a leg, and at the site, and as if that were not enough aggravation, you were made to wait for hours since treatment was first come, first served! Because your accompanying person has "pull from the inside," soon as you enter the premises, you get attended by the administrative assistant right in front of five, six hurting, and ill folks waiting patiently for their turn.  You ignore the preferential treatment you get,  so to say.  You couldn't care.  You assume a selfish stance because your goal is to get yourself be seen ... attended by the physician on duty right there and then.  In a bit, you really get first class attention.  The doctor listens to your health concerns, reviews you previous diagnosis and recommended treatment received from a private, pricier practitioner.  He gives you the routine examination ... he asks you to breathe in/breathe out while he listens to his good, old stethoscope; he moves on to nasal, throat, then ear exams.  Shortly, he matches and re-evaluates his diagnosis with what the other doctor found.  Finally, he shares his best call ...  and he explains what needs to be done on your health concerns.  He then makes suggestions on medication changes.  He reiterates the previous physician's healthy, nursing food and fluid intake recommendations.  He writes for you - few prescriptions to pick up 'free of charge' from the center and he adds one or two more that you must get from a local pharmacy.  He sends you off; you do your utmost best, garnished by gratitude and thanksgiving, to say goodbye.

Your day-to-day concerns, what ever they are somehow get taken care of by people you know or don't know.  Reflect on that ... and be thankful that "no man is an island!"  When you get off course, when you get arrogant or proud, events and people in and around your life pick you up anyway.  In awe and reverence for even the least and miniscule gestures of lifting you higher, and getting you to return in your better self, never ... ever ... forget that you could not do all of which you were unconditionally afforded.   Never assume that you think you could do all in all on your very own!  

Winds ...

Blog 163:

Outside the trees sway

As the soft, mild winds

Take its body and arms

Into a a languid dance.

Inside the fan twirls and swirls

The static winds to do a stale dance

Within the four walls of a crummy room

And crowded space filled with boxes and dust.

In sync ... both winds make their presence known

In sync ... both winds make their journey touching

Things naturally born … and

Things drawn from nature's rich resource.

Together, though apart

They move in and out

Together, though apart

They breathe and touch things dead or alive! 

Stream of Consciousness 11

Blog 162:

‘Woke up a bit tired and later than usual; didn’t somehow sleep well for the _nth time!  I think the tropical weather is slowly creeping into my system. 

‘Decided to finally get up an about after 8.  I passed by the wall mirror and didn’t like the growing gray on my crown; I got the tint out and brushed them away.  Perfect treat for self!  

I finally got to the breakfast table, poured morning Nescafe brew, and sipped it a long while … a perfect beginning to every new day!  All the while I was sipping the coffee, Mother reminded me three times to get started early before my ride and company for the day… ‘Jie and ‘Ji, come around.  I did not want an early argument, thus off I went to hit the shower.  When I got out, I heard strange voices downstairs.  I popped my head in secret to check.  Gathered downstairs was a crowd that found its way to the house.  It was a huge delegation of children and adults … 16 in all … dragged by Cousin Sue.  Somehow word got out that I was in the country.  So … there – visitation stress!  What do I do?  I already made plans for the day!  Since guests did not announce their visit.  I decided to go with my plan to go out; in respect, I showed up a bit, greeted all, got out, and just went!  On the way to the Mac Shop … in Alabang Mall, I really felt bad that I had to leave them.  Fortunately, from her errand, Mother came in just in time for me to bow out.  I could see Mother’s stressed countenance … like the one I sported when I discovered the guests’ presence. I’m sure she’ll bring up stories when I returned home. 

The traffic along the way smoothed my face.  I was satisfied to temporarily get systemic relief from an early stress and frustration. 

I was glad to find my calm back.

Change of venue and company does wonders to whatever I find a bit bothersome.  Besides hot tea, ‘Jie and ‘Ji were perfect company to bi-annual re-hash of “things” about anything, everything under the sun.  My conversations went deep and overboard.  ‘Ji and I teary-eyed some; ‘Jie rescued both of us with tissues to wipe out tears.  I no longer can boast of growing-up pains in secret!  It was good to let go and have the younger genex know “deep painful roots”.  It was therapeutic to let go of some pain.  Perhaps, I’ll get better appreciated; not that it was important, but young ones needed to know from where their lives sprouted and what sacrifices were made in the process so that they could also begin to wizen!

Dinner at a Greek food establishment was swell! 

Home bound, I remembered that I failed to buzz Zin.  She had waited long at Lotus house.  Another tumble … in the wind; seeing her and hearing her own challenges rekindled pain …

Not my perfect day, after all, but that’s how the cookie crumbled.  Still … a day to be thankful for, and forever grateful!

Giving and Receiving ...

Blog161:

When one's resources are meager, how does one share the little she or he has to make the holidays worthwhile and meaningfully festive?

My short-lived participation in the lives of people I know, and those I have met along during this past holiday 2012 put me in check in so far as generosity is concerned.  I caught myself far more judicious in spending and showing folks with 'things'!  I however continue to wonder ... and am amazed at how some hard-up folks could go all out buying presents for all people they know or do not know well.  For the one's we want to recognize and thank for service through the year,
I could accept showering a small gift ... really small, mind you, something tht would not kill my means of living.  What I could not deal well with are those folks who give away their personal resources for other reasons --- keeping up with the giving practice or tradition, for example!  I observed these past few days so many whom I knew could really not spare anything, did go out of their resources and capacity to spend.  I don't mean to frown at the gesture, but pushing one's self to give in spite of economic challenges is crazy ... in my view!  How can anyone jeopardize one's living expense for the coming days?  Why was it important to shower another with seemingly unimportant items that folks could live without?   Why couldn't greetings and well-wishes be enough?

To give, out of sincere caring or need has intrinsic value.  For instance, getting someone a pair of shoes and clothing because one is in dire need of it is a solemn act.  Sharing some of one's food with the desperately hungry is  not only meaningfull, but it is the right action to take.  It is alright to share temporarily with those who could not truly help themselves stand on their feet.  We are our sister and brother's keeper when they are in need, afterall. To give, because it is expected, and it is the trend ... is definitely unwise.

I had wondered what had happened to making something useful as presents from items we may have on hand: a card, a drawing, something of interest from our own creativity derived from commonplace or recyclable items and scraps lying around our homes.  All have usefulness, and could be appreciated when constructed and given love ... thought.  How about an act of kindness, a helpful chore we could help someone with? These seemingly have disappeared as alternative to 'buying' presents and sharing good cheer.  As we welcome the new year, perhaps all of us should revisit our store-bought presents for others and our merry-making things, as well as our purposes for 'giving'. We should come up with wiser decisions.  Our economically-trying days are ahead.  For now, we have at least 300-some days to reflect before the next holiday season wrapped up in gift-giving comes once again.  It behooves us not to be more conscious of our actions!