Proposal

Blog7: Proposal

In the background, an upbeat music plays, “Up, up, and away in my beautiful, my beautiful, bal-lo-on!”  A hot air balloon company captures an ecstatic young woman, along with her proud fiancé in flight.  The man holds out a pricey-looking ring to her; one could not mistake that this was a proposal of marriage.  He gets “down” on business and … takes the traditional kneel-on-one-knee posture to the love of his life.   

Which young couple doesn’t dream of an absolutely romantic, once-in-a-lifetime event just like that?  Not I.  I certainly do not have a penchant for dramatic events even though my life has had substantially unexpected and memory-filled ones. 

My best friend and love of life did not bring a ring in a fancy box to me on the day he proposed marriage.  He did not choose a fancy location.  It simply, naturally came out of his well-meaning, honest voice, during a typical end-of-day walk, down a modest refugee camp neighborhood path which we had walked many times.  Consider, for a sec, the gravity of a proposal to commit to a life together.  That’s no fleeting fancy.  What could be out and rightly said?  Nothing quickly thought, for sure.   A proposal doesn’t come with an accompanying straight, flat and spelled-out literature inside a fancy ribbon-tied box and jeweled ring in its bosom.  Something about it becomes a surreal moment enough to mute and to run shivers in one’s spine.   No screams of fantastic feelings for me.  A response required a very slow, thoughtful thinking through.

What entails a marriage proposal and its acceptance?

Imagine two independently-thinking individuals brought together by circumstance.  Each has preferential ways of thinking, doing.  Each comes with a window of belief and faith.  Each is made fragile or strong by personal life experiences, and naturally or vicariously learned world views.  What gifts, life habits, traditions, rituals, and mores does each one propose to bring and nurture a life “together”?  Should a match of any of these come to light, and why?

Marriage: a layered intertwining of kind wrapped by unconditional love

Proposal:  an offering … a stark naked gift; take “as is”

Could you, would you take a proposal of such importance lightly?